Hopefully, in all this, my memories of S. will motivate me.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Four Weeks and a Day
Today, it has been four weeks and one day since a tragedy occurred. My beloved Mamusta S. was killed by a student who then committed suicide. Now, the mention of a handgun, suicide, someone dying, or praying in school are far more serious to me. The grieving process has been going well. From time to time, I cry over the loss. Sometimes I pretend that S. is with me, that we can still converse. It helps me think through things, because he liked to ask a lot of questions. Sometimes just pretending his presence is there helps to make the day brighter. Unfortunately, sometimes it has the opposite effect. For example, yesterday I went on a hike with my Health class, and on the way back, I thought to myself, "S. would have enjoyed a hike like this." Then, when I tried to imagine him walking with us, I couldn't picture him, and it brought me down. I suppose having people all about put it in perspective, which made it more difficult to allow imagination to have its way. Ah, well, life goes on.
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